So the Drama

We are in Human Resources. We are not making life or death decisions. We really do not need the drama. Drama and Emergency Medicine? Yes. Drama and Human Resources? No.

There is drama all around us. If you want drama, head out into the organization and find it. Actually, you really do not even have to leave your desk, the drama will come to you. Don't believe me? Wait just a few minutes . . . just one minute more. . . see, there it is.

Drama is out there for those who seek it. It is there just for the asking. 

Stop creating it. 

Aargh!

I am often the one to say, "This is not a social service agency. You need to do the job you were hired to do." Beneath it all, I do what I can to make things work for the employee and the agency and to do what's right.

I just finished up a telephone conversation with an HR staff member at another site. There is an issue. The rules say there is no way at this point to provide a desired benefit to an employee. I called Washington DC and they are willing to work with us. Woo-hoo.

Can you imagine my surprise when, after sharing that with the other HR staff member, she was less than enthusiastic and responded, "Rules are rules and it is not about taking care of the person."

To her boss and my peer I go . . . .

Minnesota HR in November

Ok, this really has got absolutely nothing to so with HR but here goes anyway.

Right now, Minnesotans are into DAY 3 of deer hunting season. We are done with bow and are into shotguns. I use "we" very loosely because I am not a Minnesota native and as such, want absolutely nothing to do with deer hunting. My husband headed north to the woods on Friday and my daughter and I headed north too - right to the water park.  The body slide was one of the fastest I have been on and the indoor/outdoor hot tub was awesome - but I digress.

After so many years in this fine state I am no longer startled by men, women and children walking on the edge of the woods or along the side the road with shotguns, rifles, or whatever over their shoulder; am accepting (because of its safety purpose) of the blaze orange clothing worn through out the town; and now know enough not to look in the beds of trucks or closely at passing trailers lest I want to see what I really don't want to see. I understand "drives" but do not understand sitting in a cold tree stand for hours on end.

Others hunt and enjoy it and I am ok with that. What am I not ok with? Hunting music. If I have to hear the 30 Point Buck Song on more time, I am simply going to have to scream.

Ah, I feel so much better now :)

On Being an Instrument

Do you ever feel like people tell you just what they want you to know so you will do what they want you to do or say what they want you to say?  Surprise, I am not an instrument and I never learned to read music anyway.

Woe is Me

Where is that post? I remember seeing it recently . . . .I know it is here somewhere. Ah, there is it. My week, captured in a cartoon, courtesy of McArthur's Rant:

Who is Responsible For Psyche Management?

As I leave for my extended weekend and visit to the Ely Blueberry Festival tomorrow, I leave you with this thought. . . .who is responsible for psyche management?

As a leader, I am committed to being respectful, supportive, authentic and a generally all around nice girl. So what does a girl like me do when she is told by an employee that they took an action hoping that I would recognize the effort they put in against less than favorable circumstances and felt that I did not give them the acknowledgement they expected?  What does the same girl do when told that an employee added a whole bunch of unintended meaning to a sentence when it started out with "unfortunately." What does a girl do when a staff member is defended because someone else was informed of a decision before they were officially made aware of it?

In the not too distance past, this nice girl would have explained the way she was thinking, trying everything she could to smooth things over and clean up her supposed mess and really take the time that she did not have to support so the defended can let their guard down.

What did the nice girl? She indicated she heard, she clarified her intention and she stated her expectations. The nice girl was maybe not so nice and accommodating. The nice girl may be getting cynical or tired but she feels ready to finally put the responsibility for psyche management where it belongs.  This feels right.

If I am disrespectful or not providing the type of leadership I am committed to providing and don't catch it myself first, call me on it. There are no victims here. We are all adults, manage your own psyche.

 Peace!

How Not to Endear Yourself to the HR Director

Yes, we are all busy. Yes, we are all trying to get as much done as we possibly can in as little time possible. If you need me, I am there for you but I can't get to everyone at once.  Feel free to do whatever you think it will take to catch my attention (hint: chocolate works) but do not, I repeat, do not look for me in the bathroom. When you come calling and I respond, "give me a freaking break, a little privacy please," I mean it. Off with a head!

Crisis? No.

How do you define a crisis? Well, one way is based on pure emotion, the other is on the facts. Me, I go for the facts and as a matter of practice, will not engage in emotional reactions (or ambushes). Get the facts straight, stop the blame, put a lid on the reaction and save the emotion for the good stuff. Remember the boy who cried wolf? 

When Egos Come to Play

There is room for collaborative relationships in just about any aspect of business. Today, we have so many avenues for working together to solve problems that we really cannot blame the system when things go wrong.

When things go wrong it is usually because someone was unable to leave their ego at the door.  An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and away we go - into a spin that will gain the organization nothing, nothing at all.

Now, I am all for standing your ground, owning your position, doing what you can for what's right. Unfortunately, it all goes south when "what's right" is replaced by "what's in it for me." Ego bearers  clearly don't get it and, in a word, they can be toxic. 

Pick any relationship in an organization. I pick the labor-management relationship. Probably much to my union president's chagrin, I say that it is easier to be a union official than a management official. Management is responsible to make sure things are done right and the reality is that on any given day, at any given moment, there will be someone doing something wrong.  Some things the union chooses to pursue and some things they don't.

How does a union official decide what to address? Well, I asked one today and do you know what he said? He said that it depends on who he trusts. Replace the labor-management relationship with your collaborative relationship of choice and the answer will be the same. Trust begets trust. When egos come to play, trust is lost.

If you really are in it to do what's right, leave your ego at the door. If not, find another game to play. You are not much fun at all.

I Am Not Bill, My Name is Lisa

I am not Bill. Bill is my husband and I love him dearly but I am not him. So, why when I take the car in for over $1,000 of repairs and pay with it with my credit card does the repair shop send the "thank you" coupons addressed to Bill? Why, when I order my personal one-year business subscription to Harvard Business Review (special deal just for you!) and send the reply card out from my office, does the "thank you," come addressed to Bill? Why oh why? 

Just a Little Venting

I spent the first few hours of my first day back from vacation basically filling in "the rest of the story" on actions that had occurred prior to and during my absence. This was very distressing to me. First off, if you don’t get anything else of value from what I have to offer you the one thing you will always get is a balanced, complete, no holds barred accounting of what occurred in any given action. I don’t hide behind metamessges sent but not received or partial facts and really, I don’t set out to paint the rosy picture for myself. If I screwed up or missed something, I will be the first to tell you. The second distressing thing for me was the backdrop of blame. Forget about the benefit of hindsight or the fact that what we as an organization know now and what we knew 90 days ago is very different from both the operating and strategic perspectives. Yes, things change and it is not anyone’s fault.

It is easy to be collaborative when the sun is shining, the daisies are blooming and the birds are singing but true colors really come through when the forecast is anything but blue skies. Blue skies are the exception and the daisies lose their petals. It’s a fact of life. If this is how the game is played, shame on me for my naiveté because I never considered this a game. I still don’t. And, I am not playing. Collaborate? Jointly address problems? I am not falling for that one so easily again.

Here's The Rope

The original title of this post was "Stupid Supervisors" but with all due respect they really are not and more importantly, I heard a little six year old voice telling me again that "mom, stupid is a bad word." "But, but he cut me right off, didn't you see that!" Ok, I digress.

We are here to serve but frankly, we cannot protect some supervisors from themselves. We do try though. We facilitate and we intercede.We act behind the scenes and call in favors that do not exist or make commitments we really have no business making. Many times we give them just enough rope to keep them from going over the cliff. Sometimes they come close but while most supervisors listen, there are a select few that do not.

Listen to us when we tell you to be professional in each and every of your interactions and to NOT unnecessarily antagonize the union. As a member of my staff so eloquently told a supervisor yesterday "remember, you are on a 2-year probationary period, the union president is not!"

If you want to do it your way, well, here's the rope.

The Color of Friendship

I watched a Disney movie, "The Color of Friendship" the other night with my six year old. It was a story set in 1977 about a 14 year old  Causasion exchange student from South Africa hosted by an African American family in Washington DC.  Long story short, the students had no issues at all but some of the adults did. Trying to explain apartheid to a six year old was interesting yet she got the gist of it very quickly. It was clear to me that she was not buying it at all when she said that every one is different and that she can play with any friend she wants to, except if they are mean to her. She pointed out different skin colors, hair colors, types of houses, favorite colors and on and on. I was, and continue to be, so very proud of her and the little girl she is growing up to be.

Now, if I can only get our adult employees to think, and behave, the same way. The phrase I use often is to "stop acting like children," but I actually want them to be more like our children - PLEASE!

Mantra for the Day

I am here to serve.

I am here to serve.

I am here to serve.

Looking to find my happy place . . . . .aaargh!

Managers, Listen Up!

I have no problem being the "bad guy" when I need to be but have a really hard time doing so for things that I don't believe in. Please, if you believe in something get out front and for the record, say so - take a position, take a stand. If you don't believe in it, I don't want to hear about it unless you are going to do something about it. If you are not willing to take it on, please don't expect me to do so for you.

I watched and I waited but I could not wait anymore. I took it on and got it changed. Why couldn't you do the same? 

How do I sum up my day? Aaaaaargh. That about does it.

Update on Sunday, December 10, 2006 by Lisa

My husband is hunting again this weekend. Still no deer, but some quality tree time! My daughter and I escaped away to a water park for the weekend and had quality water time! She has recently started going underwater and we can't keep her above it any more. After literally 5 hours straight of jumping, sliding and swimming, we were both wiped out. It was a good wiped out as opposed to burned out and something I definitely needed.

One of my roles as an HR professional and leader is organizational or interpersonal safety net or back up when there are breakdowns. There was a breakdown in one of our organizational processes and while it was brewing for some time, it came to a head on Friday. It was not a particularly "big" issue. In fact, it was relatively small. It was resolved with a request for reconsideration of a decision. Not a big deal really, I do it all the time So, why the post to managers? So, why did I leave on Friday wrapped so tight?

The answer lies in a conversation I had last week. A person I respect greatly brought up "boundaries" in relation to two particular staff incidents I was sharing with her. She felt that their behaviors and actions were an "inappropriate use of me." Her words stopped me in my tracks. We talked more about this and I was able to see not only how they were crossing my boundaries but how I clearly was not only letting them but also enabling them to do so. I have not been protecting my boundaries and I had given myself away. On Friday, I had absolutely nothing left to give. 

This insight is pretty powerful to me and now that I am aware of it, I will do something about it. I don't want any more Friday's like the last so my message to my staff, employees and managers is to use me . . . appropriately. Believe me, I will ensure that you do.