Lead. That is All I Ask.

Crossposted on HRM Today

You can tell a lot about a society by the way they take care of their children. You can tell a lot about an organization by the way they terminate their employees.

An employee receives a termination notice. This event plays itself out in different ways, on different days, in many different organizations. In your organization, is a termination notice the unfortunate, but expected, end to an ongoing conversation? Or is it a surprise?

Surprises are a huge distraction. Employee energy and focus shifts to the inequity (real or perceived) that has occurred. Customers, what customers? They will say it is unfair, they will call it an injustice. An employee has been wronged, they will say, and they are doing this for her. Or so they think. The employees have gone into self-protection mode, "if it happened to her, it can happen to me." The engagement the organization has worked so hard to enhance, measure and maintain is jeopardized. The credibility the organzitaion has worked so hard to establish is chipped away at, one surprise at a time.

Doug Conant, CEO of Campbell Soup was quoted in Harvard Business Review  (subscription needed for full article) saying, "You can't talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. You have to behave your way out of it." Now, how absolutely perfect is that?!

Leaders, want to engage employees? Talk to them. Let them know what you think. Tell them when they are in troubled waters. Provide them with an opportunity to succeed. Lead.

Don't take your organizational credibility for granted. Protect it fiercely. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

10 Ways To Make Your Boss Love You

Want to become your boss's favorite? Alison Green (aka Ask a Manager) U.S. News & World Report column this week suggests 10 habits that, if cultivated, will have your boss showering you with lavish praise.

I value staff who embrace #9: Speak up when you're unhappy and especially value those who use Panera Bagels with honey walnut cream cheese to express their thoughts regarding #10, If she's a good boss, tell her. Speaking of which, haven't had any bagels lately, hmmmm.

Seriously, this is one to keep at arm's length to facilitate discussions with your staff members, assist new supervisors with setting reasonable expectations for their staff and to do a soft check on yourself as you manage upward.

It's Showdown Time!

Find yourself ramming heads with another? Starting to simmer? Ready to set someone straight? It's showdown time!

I had a showdown once (ha!). Immediately afterward, I felt charged. I felt cleansed. I felt powerful.  I was feeling so good, I began to feel guilty. Why was I feeling so good? Oh no, did I cross a line to the other side?  Hmmm. The mind (well, my mind) is a funny thing.  I sought feedback on the interaction. Was I professional? Yes. Was I respectful? Yes. Ok, why did it feel so good? It felt good because I said what needed to be said, when it needed to be said.

When was your last showdown? Think about it. Were you pumped? Were you primed? Were you ready for the opportunity when it presented itself?  Were you like a bull in a china shop, breaking relationships as you move through the organization, or were you moving through with care?

Instead of looking for a confrontation, prepare for a carefrontation. A carefrontation is a fresh approach to conflict resolution developed by corporate coach Esther Jules and featured in the May 2008 issue of Oprah magazine. The three core steps to a carefrontation are:

• Prepare with care. Define the problem, separating the practical issues from the emotions they invoke.
• Offer an invitation to talk. There is no sure-fire opener but when offered the opportunity, "people are grateful, because they're floundering."
• Practice no-blame talking and listening. Be careful not to blame or accuse. My two cents? This is a not good time to "should" on the other person.

My showdown was awesome, long overdue and very, very cool (for me). Unfortunately, I changed the course of a relationship. I needed to have my voice heard and I could have done it better. I could have handled it with care.  Fortunately, I learn from my mistakes. 

If you find yourself in the midst of a showdown, stop and ask yourself one question: am I trying to win an argument or solve a problem? Then, let go of the argument and put your heads together to reach a common goal.

What Makes a Mentor

I have an article sidebar as part of my mouse pad and I wanted to share this with you. It is titled, "What Makes a Mentor."

A good mentor . . .

• is someone absolutely credible whose integrity transcends the message, be it positive or negative;
• tells you things that you may not want to hear but leaves you feeling you have been heard;
• interacts with you in a way that makes you want to become better;
• makes you feel secure enough to take risks;
• gives you the confidence to rise above your inner doubts and fears;
• supports your attempts to set stretch goals for yourself; and
• presents opportunities and highlights challenges you might now have seen on your own.

Go hug a mentor today!

Unfortunately when I cut this out, I also cut off it's source. If you know (or are) the source, please comment so I can give credit where credit is due.

Update on Saturday, April 26, 2008 by Lisa

Found it. This is a sidbar from a Harvard Business Review article, "Why Mentoring Matters in a Hypercompetitive World." Subscription not required to access the article. Lesson learned - save the citatons!

Don't "Should" On Me

"Little light on the posts this week, Lisa" This thought has entered and left my mind a number of times throughout the week. I have been crazy busy and without any time to stop, think, and process. What will it take to slow the train down?!  Well, 12 inches of wet, heavy spring snow seems to have done it, at least for a short while. The spring snow last night provided me with a little respite from the madness as I made my way through it to the gym and to work. I did this after taking my daughter's snow boots and snow pants out of the winter closet for the third time this season.

It should be rainy, not snowy in April. I should be able to pack away winter clothes in March. I should have learned by now. I should learn to use that four-wheel drive on my Pilot. Let's switch to the workplace. Employees should always tell the truth. Supervisors should be take responsibilities for their decisions and be accountable for their communications. The Union should understand Management's position. Everything HR related should make sense. Should, should, should, should should . . . . how's that working for you? Well, it's not working for me, although it should. Everyone should see things my way but they don't (darn!).

So, how do I facilitate a change in behavior without imposing my "shoulds" on others?

I am going to try a little experiment. I am going to remove "should" and its close neighbor "need to" from my vocabulary (yikes!). I am going to try to stop and think about the "should" situation in terms of solving a breakdown or increasing effectiveness and developing my communication from there.  How will that look? What will I say? I am not sure exactly but I am willing to give it a try.

If you don't "should" on me and I will try really, really, really hard not to "should" on you!

Working on Wonderful

Supervisory 101: recognize the good things your employees do. I recognize the members of my department. I go home every night knowing that I have a super staff.  I have an awesome staff. I know it and they know it too.

Or do they? Sure, I may not always get awards written up and submitted each quarter but at the end of the year, I make up for lost time.  In meetings I acknowledge the output of the department, the work that is done each and everyday and thank people individually for their achievements.  I am often blown away by the initiative and engagement I see. "Great job," I think (and say as I remember and have the time) and consider it exactly that - a part of their job. In most cases, I do not follow up with further recognition.  

Well, over the past 45 days I have been. I have been looking for examples of outstanding customer service by each individual, not by the collective department. I have been presenting each individual with a "WOW" pin for "Working on Wonderful." Now, before you start thinking I am simply wonderful myself, you have to know that this campaign was the result of our Work Life Improvement Committee and I was doing it because all supervisors were required to. I went into this a little bucky because I felt recognition was alive and well in my department and that this campaign would seem a little contrived. Well, I realized that neither was true.

I realized that I was not putting much time and effort into recognition. I realized that I was not seeing the individual contributions of each staff member. I realized that I was not looking. I realized that a little effort goes a long way.  I realized that each employee gained from focused, specific, timely recognition

I realized that I gained more.

Peeps: The New Stress Busters

Life is busy. Life in HR is busy. Life in HR is always busy. I should know that. I should expect that and I should not be surprised that I only see water when I look around me and remember, yes, I am supposed to be growing gills. I am right where I was this time last year. What is it they say about doing the same thing and expecting different results?!

As I wiped the water from my eyes yesterday (could that be tears? Not!) I looked around and noticed that I was not alone. Unfortunately, my staff is right there beside me. The most frustrating part of what I do is finding that I am so buried in my own stuff that I am not available to my staff.

Well, help was on the way. I took the kid to Walgreens looking for some little stress buster types of things I could bring into work. We still use my ashes of problem employee jar but I wanted something different this time. So, to the toy and candy aisle we went and right there at eye level, I found what I needed - PEEPS! Pink peeps, blue peeps, purple peeps, yellow peeps and green ones. I quickly began loading them into my basket when the kid asked me if they were for her. No, I said, they were for the office. I was going to bring them into work so we can release a little tension as we rip their little arms off. If looks could kill . . . . back on the shelves the little Peeps went.

I settled for colored eggs with stressed, angry, laughing, crying and silly faces on them, stuffed with Dove chocolate. They were enough to get a few very overdue smiles. The Peeps were safe this time but they may not be so lucky next time!

So, what do you do to release a little bit of tension in your office?

Permission To Reenter the Box

Unstructured, abstract brainstorming is not my thing. I absolutely cannot do it well. I can't do it without taking the big broad question and breaking it down to a smaller components and then looking for one that I could relate to. In essence, I needed to find something to hitch my brainstorming star on to. I have often left brainstorming meetings feeling a bit, well, deficient.

So, when I read the recent issue of Harvard Business Review, December 2007 and came across the article, Breakthrough Thinking from Inside the Box, I wanted to stand up and shout, "YES!"  The authors articulate the problems inherent in wild, wide-open brainstorming sessions. They propose jumping back into the box and assert that breakthrough thinking occurs when the right questions are asked. Do you want to know how to best orchestrate a semi-structured brainstorming process that mirrors how people think? You can start by:

• Bounding the range of acceptable ideas, then selecting and tailoring the questions accordingly;
• Selecting participants who can produce original insights; and
• Ensuring everyone is fully engaged.

Then you can click over to Harvard Business Review  and read the full article here (subscription not required).

Permission to reenter the box? Granted. I welcome the change.

A "Reluctant Hero" is No Hero At All

Play a great ball game, the team wins the series; stick the landing, the gymnast gets a 10; run a smart race, the runner earns a medal; read, read, read, the first grader progresses to chapter books; solve a problem at work, the employee is praised. 

Our best employees are those who identify problems and solve them - preferably before they occur. What about getting credit for problems they create?

Do you know an employee who creates "fictional organizational problems, only to solve them?"  Are you nodding? Are you cringing? How do these employees impact the morale of the rest of the team, department or area?

Do they seemingly always have necessary information and not share until implored to assist? Do they commit and withdraw? Do they come in and save the day  sighing "woe is me" all the way? If this sounds familiar, you may have a reluctant hero on your hands. 

Or maybe you have a do-looper who "constantly lights small fires and then puts them out?"  Call them what you will but employees like this are a problem. Click over to Munchausen at Work in the November 2007 issue of Harvard Business Review for tips on diagnosis.

The best remedy? "Reduce the attention and other rewards that are tied to solutions and, more broadly, to limit perpetrator's opportunities for creating specific problems."

A "reluctant hero" is no hero at all. Save the rewards and recognition for those who deserve it.

Addressing Negative Staff Interactions

How do I advise a supervisor who is at his wits end with two staff members who simply cannot get along?

Thank you for the question. I am going to take a little creative license here and add to the scenario. Let's say that the interactions are often charged, accusations or innuendos are subliminal, trust is weak, and actions are often perceived as personal.

I recommend that you start by first asking the supervisor what he or she has done to date to address the problem. Has he identified their strengths, assigned work to build on those strengths, ensured equity in training opportunities, rewarded accomplishments?  I have worked with supervisors over the years and am remembering one incident in particular where a supervisor felt he had done everything by the book but lamented that "they are not changing their behaviors." 

In many of these situations, I saw a supervisor who had unwittingly, unknowingly, or maybe even very consciously, made it his responsibility to ensure his staff members got along. The monkey was in his or her tree, and frankly, other than shaking a few branches now and then, this had not  made much of a difference at all. It was time to put the monkeys in the employee's tree. 

Here is a 5 point statement to help shake the monkeys from the supervisor's tree.

• You are each very capable individuals in your own right.
• Your interactions at (fill in the blank) were not appropriate.
• Your interactions are not only impacting your performance but also the rest of the team.
• I am no longer going to manage, accept, facilitate, tolerate (enter word of choice) this.
• I expect you to work together and I am holding each of you accountable for doing so. 

The biggest hurdle to putting this out there in one way or another? The supervisor. One could say it is the supervisor's willingness or ability to put the monkeys were they belong. I would challenge that  more often than not, a supervisor may not even be aware that they have made this their responsibility. If you see that, bring it to their attention and you will have opened the door to whole new conversation.

The Great Space Debate

Put me in front of an arbitrator to present a weak case, tell me one of our managers told a candidate he doesn't hire Wiccas, tell me to communicate that there will be no pay increases at all this year (I can go on and on), but please, please don't tell me that I have to fit 10 people who each have their own offices into 9 offices.  

What? I asked you not to tell me! Yes, I do know that space is getting tighter and I did not forget that I am planning to fill an open position in early 2008 and will then have to fit 11 people into 9 offices and maybe even into 8 offices if that other manager is hired. What is a girl to do?

I have a floor plan, know where the outlets, computer connections and phone lines are. I know how work gets done in my department. Rationally, I can do this rather easily. Rationally, I did it. Rationally, I began discussing this with staff. I quickly found out that this is not anywhere near a rational situation. Not even close!

Rationality goes out the door rather quickly when you have to work through and with the 3 Ps: people, personalities and preferences. I could have directed and not sought feedback but that really is not the way I operate. Things I had not considered were brought to my attention and a variety of alternate arrangements proposed (no teleworking from the spa is not an option unless I get to come). I have not yet spoke with all of my potentially impacted staff but I have made a decision.

Take my office. I am heading out for a really long vacation :)

Take Good Care (of yourself)

To my hardworking, dedicated colleagues and readers, there is a wonderful post on The Strengths Way about recognizing the warning signs of a setback. Take a few minutes to stop, read this over and think about it. Think about your staff. How are they doing? Think about managers and employees in your company. How are they doing? Now stop. Take a look in the mirror. How are you doing?

Take Good Care (of yourself).

The Choices We Make

My daughter cried herself to sleep last night.

She was not alone. I was there rubbing her back and shifting my "I can't" to "I will really try" with each rub.

What was up? Yesterday was the first day of school. As is my new tradition (2 years does a tradition make!), I took the day off. My husband and I took pictures and watched our little girl get on the bus. I met her at the end of the day with flowers and a balloon. We went for ice cream and talked about her day. She shared about her nice teacher, new classmates, maneuvering through the lunch line,  the art teacher who will come to class each day, the one kid who started along side everyone with a green card (good listener) but quickly blew right past the yellow and orange warning stages to red (call to the parents) the very first morning, and oh yes, it was library day!

Well, she wants to do this the rest of the week. Very cool. I'd love to. Problem? I can't. I can watch her get on the bus this week and get to work just a tad bit late but I can't pick her up each day. I am going to go in to see if I can possibly change a meeting or two this week but it really is more than just these few meetings. It is about the give and take of an organization and my role in it. I am so keenly aware of my responsibilities, my piece of the puzzle, and what happens when not all the pieces are there.

I am also so keenly aware that this is important to my daughter. And I am torn. This is not about my organization, it is about me. It is about my family. Yes, part of me right now is a bit resentful that I even have to make a choice but I am very clear that I am here right now because of the choices I have made. There are really good things about being "here" right now and there are things that are not so good. I am sure I would have that no matter where "here" was, it just does not make it any easier.

Things that seem to important to an over tired 6 year old in the evening are often not so "end of the world" in the morning. This too may be one of those times for her. If so, I am sure it will not be the last time she asks for something from me or her dad that we are not able to give to her. Reality? Probably but right now I am not so sure that makes me feel any better.

So, is there an HR pointer in here? Organizations, do not pass up on the opportunity to provide your employees with flexibility and alternate scheduling options or forget to recognize that they have responsibilities outside of the workplace. Those responsibilities vary and can be unique to each individual but they do exist. Choices will have to be made and employees will make them. Do what you can to be on the positive side of the equation. It can make a difference.

Time to wake up my princess . . . . 

Concerned? Tell Them.

Do you have a staff member or employee who looks a little stressed?

Do you have a staff member or employee who looks a bit stretched too thin?

Do you have a staff member or employee who seems to have lost their spark?

Do you have a staff member or employee who you are concerned about?

Tell them.

Are you wondering how they are doing?

Ask them.

Are they willing to talk with you?

Listen.

It may be the thing that makes all of the difference in the world.

Beyond Your Expectations: What Engages Your Employees?

The race is on to find qualified, quality employees and to engage them.

A recent article in ROI Central Minnesota, a business and economics magazine published by the St. Cloud Times, reports that, on average, replacing an employee costs 30% of the individual's salary considering use of overtime, temporary workers, loss of productivity and loss of knowledge. The author, Dawn Peake, continues by saying, "compensation has fallen on the list of what drives workers to a company, so now many promote their culture and ability to provide meaningful work."  The article highlights some unique perks being offered locally that include chef prepared meals, coffee clubs, vacations at executive cabins, better than average recruitment incentives, and employer paid premiums and deductibles. Reading this, I felt a bit hand-tied; these options are not permissible in a tax-payer funded organization. How are we ever going to compete?

Nevertheless, I continued reading and felt my tension release with Ms. Peake's statement that "there is no one size fits all approach. Companies need to determine what motivates and satisfies their particular group of employees."  Ok, that we can do and that we must do. It is not about being everything to everyone, it is not about the cool idea of the month. It involves benchmarking as a guide but not as the answer. If we are always looking to see what others are doing so we can do the same, we are committing ourselves to be the eternal follower and never the leader (can you see the light bulb turn on?!). 

So let's get back to basics. People valuing certain things will not be drawn to a tax payer funded organization There are people who would not consider working anyplace else. These are the keepers and they are our market. This is our world. The task: capture the physical and psychic and qualitative "whys" of the work environment. Keep in mind that it does not need to be flashy, it need only be real. It needs to answer the questions, "what are we about?" and "why do people want to work for us?" Ah, here is the internal branding piece again!  How are the answers already reflected in the things that your organization does or how can they be? Basically, enhance what is in alignment and not so gently realign what is not.

This is not a one person, sitting at their desk, in the quiet of their own mind kind of thing to do. It is the work of employees across the organization. It is a creative, messy, iterative, colorful sticky note, fruity markers, brainstorming, no idea is a bad one kind of a process. It is a necessary, can't proceed without addressing, discussing, creating and identifying type of task.

I am in and I have just the group to start this with. Workforce Development Council - hold onto your hats. The train in moving - are you in?!

Reference. Peake, Dawn, July - September 2007. "Employer Perks That Work: Companies find methods to motivate staffers and boost productivity." ROI - Central Minnesota. (not available on line)

Taking What You Give

How much longer can we keep up this unrelenting pace?

I was meeting with the director last Friday reviewing the current status of actions - discipline, hiring, union activity etc and talked about the volume. He commented that the issues we have are not that bad and I agree. It is not the complexity of issues, it is the non-stop, revolving door, no end in sight level of work. It is the day to day grind that leaves no time for reflective thought or future planning. It is this level and volume that takes everything out of you - out of me.

Or does it? Does it take everything or does it take everything I am willing to give? The volume is there and that's a given but no one is telling me to skip the gym. To not take more time off. To bring work home with me (although it very rarely leaves the car). To check the Blackberry periodically over the weekend. 

One thing you can take to the bank is if I give it,  the organization will take it. But to what end? And at what costs?

So, the lines are blurred for me right now. Where do the necessary demands of the job end and my willingness to give so much of my time start?

Update on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 by Lisa

A very timely follow up from Brazen Careerist. 

My favorite bullet is the last, Be Brave.

Be brave. Brave people can say no when someone is pushing hard, and brave people can go home when other people are working late. The bravery comes from trusting yourself to find the most important work and to do it better than anyone else. But sometimes, the bravest thing to do is leave.

A Better Functioning Team of Humans

Agenda item number 1 for the day is team function.

When I ask my staff about things that they would like to see changed or areas we can improve on in the department, team function is always right there on top. They have felt that we should treat each other like we treat our customers. I had agreed that, yes, we should because we treat our customers rather well. Now, as team function makes it's way to the top of the agenda again, I am wondering if maybe, just maybe, treating each other as we do customers is NOT the way to better team function. Maybe there is a better way. Maybe what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. Maybe the way to better team function is simply allowing each other to be human.

When we serve customers, we are in a service role. In a transactional sense, they ask and we respond, always with our positive, energetic "game faces" on. It is what my staff are asking for in their interactions with fellow team members and it is what I have in essence asked them to do. Seeing us in that mode all day, an observer could fear, rightly so, that they were unwittingly dropped onto the set of that giant purple dinosaur ("I love you, you love me, one big happy family . . . "). 

Our work environments should not be hostile and given that, I expect my staff to treat team members as they would like to be treated themselves, i.e. don't take your friend's finger paints when she goes potty.  That aside, treating each other "as we do customers" will not improve our team function (case in point, it hasn't worked yet) and even more so, I don't think it is healthy.

• I will snap.
• I will have bad days.
• I will over react to things.
• I will assume things in error.
• I will say things that may just be a little short and you will sense a hint of frustration in them.

I will do this because I am human. So, maybe the other side of the team equation is allowing each other to be human. Allowing team members the room to put their game face aside and let you see how they really feel. Not taking it personally if you are on the receiving end and, if you are on the giving  end, going back and cleaning up your messes when you have had a chance to settle down. It is taking a walk when you feel the need to blow or disengaging from an interaction or staff member when you need your space and from the other side, giving them the space to do so without taking offense. It is  starting to remember that it is not all about you, it is about us and only be working together and being engaged and supportive vs. expecting "game face" days all the time.

Maybe this is the way to better team function and maybe this is the conversation I should be having with my staff.

Think the Word, Feel the Word, Be the Word

Words intrigue me. Not their spelling, their origin or even necessarily the words themsleves. It is the words people choose and the message they (the words) send.

I am right there with the best of them wrangling over a 15 word mission or vision statement and have to confess that I often brought the thesaurus to our strategic planning retreats.  I have never met a charge statement that I didn't like, yet they never leave my desk unchanged. Technical brevity and Black's Law definitions a given, I still play with the words to get at the essence. Drives my staff crazy but I just have to do it.

You know, I am beginning to realize that not everyone feels the same about words and to acknowledge that at times, I may take it to the extreme. Please don't ask me to put together a potentially charged message quickly, it just is not happening. I have got to get in the zone and know what message I want to send and then select the words that communicate that. Ok, nerdy but it is so very important to me that I do what I can to improve the odds that the message received was what I intended.  Add meta-messages as discussed in Deborah Tannen's recent book, You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation and now you really have my attention! I love this stuff!

I was in a conversation with a colleague recently about a supervisor. My colleague was expressing a concern about how a particular supervisor's relationship with his employees . There are a number of words he could have used to describe the relationship: unfair, harsh, without integrity, inconsistent, and on and one.

Do you know what he did say? He said that he felt that the supervisor "discards" employees. Yes, discards. Stopped me right in my tracks. A picture says a thousand words but one word can create one heck of a picture.

Boy, Do I Have an Awesome Staff!

I am finishing up my mid-terms and am struck by the open, honest conversations each and every member of my staff has been willing to have with me. I asked the questions and they answered. Not yes- no, not one liners. I asked them what they thought and they told me. They asked me what I thought (darn them, it wasn't in the script!) and I shared that with them.

In preparing for the meetings, a light went on for me that maybe, just maybe, I had not been giving someone a fair chance. That maybe, just maybe, their job was not designed for success. That maybe, just maybe, if we work at this together, we can get it right. What would she think? Didn't know for sure, so I asked her. Know what she said? Maybe, just maybe, she had not been giving her all to the job. Maybe, just maybe, her personal stuff was brought into work. Maybe just maybe, she had different expectations about how her move here would be. So, where do we go from here? We go forward, I look at her position description, get some processes defined to assist and she shows up, really shows up, and let's us know she is here and has something to say.

I asked people to do things and they did them. Not surprising in and of itself but I was not aware until these meetings that some of my requests were pushing them far enough out of their comfort zones that they really were thinking that they could not do it and losing sleep over it. They didn't mention that to me at the time (wished they would have), did them anyway and now, to see the lights in their eyes, the confidences they gained - yes!

I will take what I received from them and use it to move us forward as a department and as a team. I owe that to them and the process but it will not add up to what they have given to me.

Boy, do I have an awesome staff!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? 

Mine does not. Not because I don't have a green thumb because frankly, I have not given it a try. I do not have a garden. I think about putting one in, a lot. I talk about putting one in, you know, starting small and building over the years; picture how one would look driving up the driveway with our newly sided house, new roof, new windows and stone front; imagine the welcome some shrubs, perennials and annuals would provide our river friends as they pull up to the dock and walk the long walk up the stairs to our house; visit greenhouses with my daughter and leave with no more than a few potted plants.; jot down ideas from other homes that I'd like to have at mine. Do you get that I really want a garden? Wrong :) 

I really love the idea of a garden but I don't really want one.  I want the beauty, the butterflies, the colors, the fragrances. I don't want the weeding, the pruning, the watering, the general overall maintenance. I think I should have one - everyone does and, well, you have heard about curb appeal. Heck, on the river road we don't even have curbs! Bottom line, I don't want the obligation. So starting today, I am putting away the "should" and being ok with the ways thing are.

How many things do we do as leaders, and as people, because we think we should do them? How much stress do we let the "should" create for ourselves? For others? Think about what is important to you, what directions do you want to go personally and professionally and ditch the things that do not support you. In other words, sit back, relax and let the weeds grow.